Love...What if it's hard?

So much can change in a week... Some would disagree with this statement, but I have found that so much can change in one day with just one decision. Every day the decisions we make impact and move us closer and closer to who we will become. It is simply a mater of whether we are making a concious decision to become who we are becoming or whether we are simply just going about our days and lives without realizing who we are becoming. In this journey of either intentionality or passivity one of the many decisions we make everyday is about love. What does love look like? Who are we to love? Why do we love? What about when it's hard or we've been hurt what does love look like then? Or what about if we didn't even do anything but somehow there is conflict? How do we respond then? What does it look like if we disagree with the life decisions that someone is making? What should love look like then? Unfortunately we often find ourselves in this limbo of trying to navigate and figure out what love looks like in these tough circumstances. We live in a world full of conflict and one that says that once someone has hurt you write them off and move on. Or worse yet that when there is conflict you respond in a tailspin of reactions and ride the waves of whatever emotion you have that day. Love, however, is a choice. It's a choice to love no matter feelings or conflict. [Now this is not to say that you stay in unsafe, detrimental situations because this is certainly not the case. What I'm talking about here is conflicts that don't include abuse.] Love loves on good days & on bad days in spite of flaws and hurt feelings or perfect days or qualities. The perfect example of love we see in Christ.

 "Out of Hiding" by Steffany Gretzinger is such a powerful song about this.

Come out of hiding you're safe here with me
No need to cover what I already see
You've got your reasons but I hold your peace
You've been on lock down but I hold the key

And I loved you before you knew what was love
And I saw it all still I choose the cross
And you were the one that I was thinking off
When I rose from the grave
Now read of the shackles, my victory's yours
I tore the veil for you to come close
There's no reason to stand at a distance anymore
You're not far from home

I'll be the lighthouse when you're lost at sea
And I will illuminate everything
No need to be frightened by intimacy
Just throw off your fear and come running to me
Oh

And Oh as you run what hindered love
Will only become part of the story

Baby you're almost home now
Please don't quit now

He saw it all but he still chose the cross. I'm so thankful that in our shortcomings and imperfections that Christ already saw- He knew everything that I have done and will do- and He still chose to die on that cross and pay for it. It's only thru experiencing Christ that we know what true love is. It is thru him that love is perfect. So what does love look like in the hard circumstances? Well to know that you have to look at the situation thru the lense of Christ's love- you have to know that you are loved more than you could ever know and that changes things. It doesn't mean that things don't hurt or that what happens is just suddenly ok, but it does mean that we can forgive and love in circumstances because God is bigger than the situation. It means that when I find my identity and love in Christ that He is the one I run to with those situations and He is the one who works and heals my heart. He actively works in my life enabling me to forgive and to love in situations that would otherwise be hopeless. It doesn't mean that it magically happens. It means that when I feel hurt or bitterness start to creep into my heart about a situation again I stop and call it out, take it to Christ, and make the intentional decision again that I have and am choosing to forgive and love. There are days that it is easy and there are days that it's hard because all these thoughts flood my mind of it not being fair, how much it hurts, what should've or could've been done, the disappointment, etc. But it is in that moment that I choose either intentionally to call it for what it is and take it to Christ or I passively let it creep in until it becomes a part of who I am without even realizing it. It doesn't mean that I'm not looking at reality or not dealing with what has happened it means simply that I've been intentionally choosing who I'm going to be and bitterness, hate, and hurt are not a part of that. Plus God is bigger than whatever happens. His victory is ours! If we are in Christ, we have a choice. We don't have to live by the waves of emotions or live by circumstances any longer. Plus the best part is all those circumstances (what hindered love) just becomes part of the testimony of what God is doing in your life (becomes part of the story). So when it's hard to love and in situations you take the lense of Christ's love and how He lived that out (which we know because it is recorded in scripture) and look thru that to see. We live in a fallen world where we all make decisions that we aren't proud of, hurt people, and sometimes end up where we never thought we would go. But the good news is that's the before... before Christ that's what our life is, BUT with Christ we have the choice to live in a different way. It doesn't mean we sit and judge but what if instead of looking at people's reactions and reacting or writing them off we took a step back and looked at what was really going on in that person's life and showed grace and love? How would that change our relationships? Our world? Sometimes you'll get push back because people are used to the world's reaction and don't understand why you would show grace and love when no one else will or they don't deserve it. That's the beauty of the cross and being able to share that with others. But how can we do this if we aren't in communication with the one who is love or if we don't know how Christ showed love or we haven't experienced Christ's love for ourselves where it has become real in our life? That's why it's so important to know the word because it's a major way that God speaks and transforms us. But how can we know the word or be transformed if we aren't in it- reading it, studying it, interacting with it & others to apply it to our life and allow it to change us. How can we show love to others if we are at home in bed and don't even show up? We have to be present and intentional even when you don't feel like it or want to. We have to be people that are in the word and pray even when it's hard until it becomes a part of who we are. It all comes down to a choice, everyday. Are you intentionally becoming who you want to become or are you passively becoming someone who when you get there you'll be surprised. You are becoming more and more everyday who you will be. Will you be one who gathers or one who scatters? One who is intentional or one who is passive? May we not be a people that when we look back over our life we see the times of conflict and hurt as we bitterly think in our heart and end up somewhere we are surprised to be and don't know how we got here. My prayer is that we intentionally choose love and forgiveness even when it's hard and we intentionally choose who we become so that when we get there is much rejoicing and storytelling of how God is faithful and carried us thru it all. That we are where we are despite the hurt and all the bad that tried to stop us because God took it and used it.

"He who is not with me is against me; and he who does not gather with me scatters."

Matthew 12:30

"We love because He first loved us."

1 John 4:19

"Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned grey, I will take care of you. I made you & I will take care of you. I will carry you & I will save you."

Isaiah 46:4